Whenever the three of us gather, Hubby, TJ, and me, Alexander finds a way to let us know he’s there too. Sometimes it’s smacking us in the moment and others a slow reveal, like a mystery you didn’t know you were solving. TJ drove down from DC to Cary for a...
“The world is made for people who aren’t cursed with self-awareness. -Annie Savoy, Bull Durham, the movie ERRRCH. This quote from the movie Bull Durham stopped me in my tracks. I was listening to the book, “Church of Baseball,” a story of how the film came to be...
It started with the song "Your My First, My Last, My Everything." It was the culmination of a move across the country from San Diego to Nashville, mom and son. His new apartment's restaurant, The Goat, had a gender-neutral wash room where guys and girls used the...
I bet she doesn’t have a care in the world with a high-paying job. I wish I didn’t worry. He’s so happy with so many friends, wow. I want to be him. I wish I had friends. So many people are smarter than me. I’ll never be successful. I won’t stick around the party;...
One of the ways I process our situation is to write to our dear son in a special journal, dedicated to him. If I’m missing him, I sit down to write. Listening to music while I pour my thoughts onto the page can elevate the closeness with him. I have a playlist of...
One of the ways I stay close to my son is to be on the lookout for signs. I may not always be conscious of how to direct my attention, as in telling myself, “Today, I will look for signs.” It just happens. I’m a noticer though. if you have visions in your head, say...
Our number one mission for creating this website is to prevent the tragedy we experienced, from happening to someone else. The number one question we asked ourselves was why? As would anyone in our case. We had thoughts consuming our minds, but were swirling in...
Our ongoing message for this blog will always be love, whether a direct reference or a driving force behind a post. We have a Valentine's message to share, a song that we know was from our son, sent to comfort and calm us. Music is his way of saying something, his...
A vibe. That’s how I operate. I get a gut-feeling or spidey-feel and I know I’m on to something. It’s the spidey-feel that give me the answers, or to lets me know I’m on the right track. The gut feeling is more of a warning. Tingles up my arm, hair standing on end...
Yes you are. You. Are. Loved. That’s the critical piece we think our son believed was missing for him. If someone could feel so black, so isolated amid parents, family, friends, professors, and mentors who loved him and either be unaware or believe it was not...
