“I saw that you were perfect and so I loved you. Then I saw you weren’t perfect, and I loved you even more.”
Angelita Lim
This quote adorns a “spirit tile” I picked up at a cute gift shop here in Cary. I was attracted to the soft metallic hues and the imperfect double-heart image. I loved it immediately because I’m drawn to anything “heart.”
When I read the quote along the edges, I knew I had to have it. I recalled a quote from Hubby to our youth: Don’t be Perfect. Nobody is Perfect.
What is perfect anyway? I could borrow from a famous quote and make it my own: “Perfection is in the eye of the beholder.” Or, “Imperfection is in the eye of the beholder.”
And if you like that quote, you’ll like this one, “We’re our own worst critic.”
I think it’s extra hard to be a human today, especially a kid because the perfection measuring stick is impossible. Nobody measures up. At least that is the way it appears. And it’s because they’re measuring themselves against others that seem to be doing better. Adults are guilty of this too, but with our growing wisdom, we are learning to care less or give a flying fig.
With the right person, maybe we should ask them to measure us, positive answers only.
I did that recently while working toward a Life Coach certification. One of the first assignments was to ask friends how they would describe me. I was wowed. I used the feedback to help me update my resume, but it also validated I was on a life-fulfilling path. I experienced something similar in a book group where everyone wrote three things to describe each person on a scrap of paper. The scraps were sorted into piles by name, and the writer was anonymous.
“Really, me?!?”
I still have those scraps. They’re a great pick-me-up when I am in a funk and doubting myself. My gal pals told me things I would never say to myself. Do you ever tell yourself you are beautiful or caring? Do you know what else is a confidence booster, reading over past accomplishments like FB posts or a resume? I like the idea of a resume because it summarizes succinctly, how far we’ve come, itemizing things we forget because we’re too caught up in the struggles of the day.
We’re better than we think we are that’s for sure. We’re not perfect, but that’s part of what makes us loveable. And sometimes, those mistakes or imperfections make us laugh, shaping us into wiser, more gentle souls. We find it easier to accept others and most of all, accept ourselves.
My inspiration for writing this post is for our youth, but I suppose the message is ageless. Nonetheless, I hope it will serve late teens and twenty-somethings because I’m forever thinking of how we could have helped Alexander. As those college admissions are announced or as the job searches go up and down, be proud of your awesomeness, and most of all, your imperfections. You are beautiful, all of you, cracks and all.
Lovely Francie
Aww. Thanks Lou Anne.💜
I’m seeing that in real time now with current students, especially the younger ones. Very hard on themselves, comparing their progress to another student, worst thing they could do….social media gives artificial images of success,not the real life experiences of failures until success is reached.
I’ve often wondered why I’m still teaching until I encounter one of these students along the way of training for a new career. I think of Alex encouraging his peers but somehow in a perceived failure, that was really not him, but toxic work environment and Mgr. To put on somebody else, your own failures or self perceived grandure of accompmishments, to the expense of another, is reprehensible.
So I’m fueled by the opportunity to build up another, encourage another, and walk thru the failures or mistakes with them. To be there when they come out the other side to see you can regroup, and do well.
Your blog is more eloquent and such a beautiful art piece that speaks volumes. Thx for sharing.
I’m glad we can continue to inspire and influence our youth through you.💜
If you love and allow yourself to be loved – you’re perfect.
I love that!💜💜💜💜💜
I had an architecture professor once tell me that I was much better than I thought I was. It kept me going through some challenging times in my professional and academic life but interestingly enough I never applied it to the rest of my experiences.
How fortunate to have an encouraging professor at that stage of your life! Our society tracks career accomplishments but never our inner accomplishments or self-worth. We are successes in so many ways but we don’t think about it, i.e. a good dad, a good friend..we need all of it, we just don’t exercise the means to put those accolades on paper or even in our heads.
I read a sticker that reminds me all of the time about positive self talk: Talk to yourself like you talk to your cat. (or dog….). I never call my self sweetie and I never tell myself I’m the cutest kitty cat/human ever. Food for thought…
Thank you Francie, you inspire me endlessly each time I read your blog. Cheers to continuing to be imperfect! Love you all and thinking of you always
Aww. Thank you Linda. You have always been a great cheerleader. Love you and your fam!💜
Thank you, Francie, for your beautiful and important words. ❤️🙏❤️
Awww. Thank you Andra, and thank you for reading and sharing your love. Keeps me going.💜
Wonderful post. Thank you so much for sharing. We often don’t give ourselves the same kindnesses that we give others. Perfection is truly an illusion. I love the Japanese idea of kintuskuori: cracks in items are repaired with silver or gold to highlight the beauty & uniqueness of imperfection.
I love that! Cracks let the light in….thank you for the validation and for sharing your thoughts. We learn so much from each other.💜
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You are so wise and inspiring! Thank you!Bar
I am humbled Barbara. Something I would never tell myself. Thank you.💜